


The Worst 4 Seconds of Thror's Not-Life

by applepieisworthit



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Humour, the head stays conscious for 4 seconds after being separated from the body, this is thror's thoughts, yeah this really happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 12:25:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3650256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applepieisworthit/pseuds/applepieisworthit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The head stays conscious for 4 seconds after being separated from the body, these are Thror's last thoughts.</p>
<p>Utter crack!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst 4 Seconds of Thror's Not-Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [determamfidd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/determamfidd/gifts).



> Like seriously this is 299 words of crack.

_Oh shit_ , not the best last thought in the history of Arda but Thrór was sure there were worse ones, and at least he hadn’t said it outloud.

Thinking about it Thrór realised that his last words before that blasted Azog cut off his head were most likely lost in the noise of the battle, and right now, owing to his head being cut off, he couldn’t exactly remember them.

That’s right, his head had just been chopped off and instead of contemplating his mistakes and reliving his life he, Thrór son of Dáin ex-King under the Mountain, was having the most inane thoughts ever. Well… it could be worse; people could actually be hearing these thoughts.

His next thought, swirling through his head as it was lifted high in the air, was that he had never been able to see this high before in his life – well, not-life Thrór supposed.

_This was a dumb idea_ was Thrór’s next coherent thought, and then in a moment of madness, not inspired by gold, _Khazad-Dumbidea_ crossed his mind and he wished that he could still laugh to be able to express the utter hilarity of that thought.

As Azog lifted Thrór’s head further in the air, readying it to throw, Thrór also had the thought that maybe this was the last time he should be allowed to plan anything, _duh, I mean I'm dead… of course it’s the last time._

He watched his grandson’s horrified face as his head rolled towards him and thought that _maybe, considering he had watched his nephew and youngest grandson die earlier, this had been the WORST family reunion ever._

Then, out of all the last thoughts to have in his 4 seconds (the longest ever) of not-life, it was _Hello Grandson, nice to see you._


End file.
